Chaos

Chaos.....I think that is what I am feeling today.

Here I am again feeling frustrated.  I am going to get the words out.  Let's start from the beginning.

I went downstairs so I can get Noah off to school.  I find things not like how I left them the night before.  Clean dishes on the counter dying, nothing on the floor.  I find shredded cheese in with my box top labels.  I find my counter on the right of the stove completely not like I had it.  The knives for the pumpkin carving out of its baggie and in 2 different areas.

I asked Noah if he knows who did it.  He does not.  Well, Noah and Ethan were the only ones on the first floor last night.  I will ask Ethan when he gets home from school.

After Noah left for school, I went up to the boys' floor and started cleaning.  Shawn helped with the vacuuming and the rug scrubbing in both rooms.  I got rid of all dirty clothes and organized Ethan's toys.  We did not finish it all.  We left the trash in a pile for the boys to pick up.  Then, we will have to have that area vacuumed.  I also changed the passwords for Ashleigh and Noah's screen names on the desktop!!  =) 

You know the chaos I am talking about.  You clean.  Then, somehow it gets destroyed, but no one did it.  Lies on top of lies.

Things need to change especially with Christmas later this month.  Noah's one therapist is coming today at 4p.  I have not called his psychiatrist yet, but I may today.

I keep telling myself that one day they will be on their own and I will miss them, but I can not think about that.  I need to get through this chaos that is not going away anytime soon.

Melissa