Raising a Special Needs Child is Hard.

Raising a special needs child is hard.  

Today was a bad day.  Ashleigh was not nice to Noah.  She is upset with Noah.  Ashleigh acts out towards Noah.  She will hit him, kick him, etc.  I am usually doing laundry, dishes, etc.  She is 12.  He is 8.  I can not be with them 24 7.  I know where they are all the time, but I can not be with them 24 7.  I know where they are now.  It is 11:39p.  Ashleigh is in her bedroom sleeping.  Noah is having a sleepover in the living room.  Ethan is in his Noah's bedroom. The a/c is in Noah's room.  Ethan's room does not have one.  We are not sure if we will put one in his room or not for safety reasons.  

Today I was in the basement doing laundry & Shawn was cleaning up the basement tv area while Ash & Noah was on the second floor.  Ethan was with us.  We stopped & went to Noah to see what Ashleigh was doing.  Noah came down to the basement in tears.  Ashleigh was in her room.  Shawn got there first because I was with Noah, calming him down. Shawn went to Ashleigh's room to see what happened.

I went to talk to Ashleigh to find out why she did what she did.  I finally got the reason why Ashleigh is so mean to Noah.  I had a feeling why, but I needed to hear the reason it from her.  I was there with Ashleigh in her room.  Noah was in the hallway.  She is mad at Noah because she "has special needs & he does not."  (her words) What do you say to your little girl (she is not little anymore) & your son?  We deal with this daily between Ashleigh & Noah.  This is not something that is here or there.  This is daily.  Ashleigh is upset that Noah can do things that she can not do.  She is getting older.  She can see he can read better.  He can play soccer.  He can run better.  Eventually he can drive.  What else will we deal with?  

Ashleigh is mean to Noah.  I told Noah this was the reason.  It is due to the him being able to everything that she can not do.  Once Ashleigh's BSC (the one therapist in charge of the other 3, but it should be 2) is here, I will explain to her what happened today.  We have a TSS here Monday to Friday helping me with the morning routine (hygiene issues).  We also have another TSS here Wednesday & Thursday evenings.  I have a MT here once a week.  The therapists work on the sibling's relationship.  I am not sure what else I can do. I have Noah in therapy.  I have Ashleigh in the wraparound program (therapy in our home).  I am worried her behavior will destroy our family, but I am going to do whatever I can to prevent that.

You tell Ashleigh over & over the same thing, but something in her head does not understand what you are saying.  I think.  She wants attention she told me.  I told her that this is not the type of attention you want.   I told her that on Friday (yesterday) we had a great day at the Aviary.  Ash said we did.   I only had 1 issue with her there.  She wanted me to get her something after this 1 show, but I said no so she said crying.  I told her that a child your age does not cry like this in public when her mother says no to buying her something, we talked about this before.  Then, Ashleigh went straight to her pain.  I told her that she was sitting for 30 minutes & not to use her pain as an excuse for her crying.   Ash then using that I have pain.  I told her that if she needs a break, we can take a break, but no crying.

I want to back up a week or 2.  Bolt likes to leave "presents" at the end of the boys steps. I hate this a lot.  Ashleigh decided to throw these "presents" on the wall in this area.  When asked about this, Ashleigh lied.  

We knew it was her for these reasons:

1. Noah hates to clean up Bolt's "presents" messes so he would NEVER make a bigger mess!!

2.  Noah was on the same floor with me.

3.  Ethan was sleeping during this time. 

4. Ashleigh was the only 1 left to do it & she was on this floor.

The week before another "present" mess happened, but this time a stool was put into it.  Then, it disappeared.  Shawn cleaned up that mess at the bottom of the steps again!!  Then, another "accident" mess, but in Ethan's room & I cleaned it up.  Few days later another mess & Shawn helped me with it.  We used the carpet scrubber.  Guess what appeared the next day???  This "present" stool!!  The stool was not there the day before.  It was put right where the mess was.  I am now using a GATE at the bottom of the first step.  There used to be a door there so the Gate fits perfectly.  Bolt hates it, but no more messes.  The problem is Ethan, too.  

3 problems:

1. Noah needs to take Bolt out more.  I am working on that.  Noah has improved on this.

2. Ethan & Noah keeps their doors closed (Noah does, but Ethan is another story).

3.  Ashleigh can not do this to get back at Noah.  Yes, Ashleigh did that to get back at Noah for wanting to go to the Fireworks!!!

I did find a place to go for help for housetraining, but they have not put when their classes are.  It is $10 for family.  I am going!!  I am also going to see about getting Bolt there for behavior issues!  Noah loves his dog so much, but there is some issues that worries him.

Since the week that the kids got out of school, my migraines have been out of control.  My doctor thinks it is due to stress.  I have to agree.  When Ashleigh's behavior is very bad like it was today, my headaches/migraines are bad.  I was told my stress level needs to be low.  HA!  Never going to happen!  Not when Ashleigh's behavior is this bad.  

I hope today was a better day then I had.

Melissa