Changes

change

  

verb, changed, chang·ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.

to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of(something) different from what it is or from what it would beif left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion;to change the course of history.

2.

to transform or convert (usually followed by into ): The witch changed the prince into a toad.

3.

to substitute another or others for; exchange  for somethingelse, usually of the same kind: She changed her shoes whenshe got home from the office.

Changes for us adults is something we are used to, but sometimes for a child it can be hard to deal with. But what if that child has special needs?  Ashleigh has always had issues with changes.  Normally we prepare her for the expected change, but this time we could not.  

We found out about 2 months ago that her classroom was moving.  Her classroom is called Life Skills.  I called the IU4 & was told that they are not sure where they are going to put it.  If it would be in our school district or merge with another school district.  I emailed our child advocate & told her what was happening.  (If you have a special needs child or a child with an IEP, get a child advocate) She told me to request an IEP meeting to discuss things.  I typed up a letter & hand delivered it to Ash's teacher.  We found out it was due to budget  cuts, the classroom was no more, those aides & her teachers had no idea where they will be or if they had a job in the fall.  

Ash had to find out about this change from one of her aide's or teachers talking.  We did not have to tell her anything.  She told us, but I knew already.  I wished we were able to tell her this change.  

We had the IEP meeting.  We told them that we are worried about Ash with all the changes.  We want her in our school district.  We did not want her to have a long bus trip & this would happen if she was outside the school district.    I asked how many of the kids are left in this program in the elementary school.  We were told just Ashleigh.  All of the kids within her class is too old to be in the elementary school.  She was the only one left.

I was told by the school district in 1 of my calls to her that they would be starting a new program for Life Skills in the high school, but it would not be ready until Ash's 7th grade.  Well, they got it ready!!  We were told that Ash would be a part of this new program even though she is in 6th grade in the fall.  This new program is for 7th-12th grade & the kids can to go to the college to use their horses, & their swimming pool.  How could we say no?  Ash loves horses.  This will be good for her.  Ash has been to the equestrian center.  She loves horses.  Win win for her!

We told Ash where she will be in the fall.  She loves the idea of the horses, but not that it is a new school.  Ash started acting out.  Doing things out of her character.  Ash is cutting her hair.  She is also cutting her jewelry.  Destroying her brothers' room.  Fighting with me and her dad.  Not listening.  Lying to us.  Leaving the house without telling us.  She is never allowed to be outside without asking us if she can.  This is not safe.  Noah told us that she did that.  I got her back into the house.  

Ashleigh has left her school that she has been for the last 6 years.  The boy she loved since Kindergarten.  The teachers & aides she had the entire time.  The principal that loves his kids.

For the last 2 years, we had Noah going to Ash's school.  Easier for him to start Kindergarten with the help of his sister.  We had problems with him starting preschool & we were worried with him starting Kindergarten, but Ash helped Noah a lot.  With this change, he, too, will be starting a new school.  

When school starts, Ash will start school about an hour & 15 minutes earlier.  Noah will get his bus about 45 minutes later.  

Like I said before, Ash hates changes.  She does not know how to handle it.  She gets frustrated with her feelings so she acts out.  Ash has cut her hair & blamed it on Noah.  Ash has also cut some necklaces.  Some made by her or brought by us.  We have since hid EVERY scissors.  I have 2 cabinets with a safety cabinet lock. She started fighting a lot with her brothers including hitting or kicking.  

Let's back up to a few years ago.  Ash was acting out.  Fighting with me.  She was frustrated with her pain & did not know how to deal with it.  I called around to several different places that had psychologists, but no one wanted to deal with a child that young with pain issues.  So, the one day we were at the social security office (before it moved) & I saw this office.  It was a resource office.  I told my husband to go wait for me in the van that I was going to see if they knew where I could get Ash the help she needed.  They did.  They referred me to a psychologist that would help her (and me).  This psychologist referred to her a program here called the wraparound where we would have 3 therapists in our home.  She did great in this program.  Stopped destroying things.  She torn apart books, papers, etc.  She was discharged in Dec, 2010.  She started the program in early 2009.   

About a month ago, things with Ashleigh got worse.  I did not like her leaving the house on her own.  It was not safe.  She took items from me & Noah & hid it in her room.  I called the one therapist that was in charge of the other 2.  Told her everything Ash has done.  She told me it was time to get her back into the program & to make an appointment.  Ash saw that psychologist last week & she is being referred back into this program.  We now have to wait to do paperwork with the company that provides the program.  Then, Ash will start the program again.  It will take sometime for her to feel better.  Right now we have a reading specialist in our home, but soon to be 3 therapists.  We have to for Ash. 

I am not sure where we would be with Ash now if I did not stop into that resource office that day.  

Have a happy & safe 4th of July,
Melissa